OVERCOMING COMPARISON

 "Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct".

Hi people, its been a while. Hope ya'll are faring well. I would like to talk about comparison here. There is a lot to say, but let's start from somewhere;
     Most of the times, you don’t intentionally play the comparison game. It just happens. Before you know it, you’ve sized yourself up, measured someone else by your own standards, or concluded – after some close or most of the time not so close observation and the collection of a few facts – that you’re inferior or superior to someone else. 

      Comparison is such an ugly game, Jesus warned us not to get caught up in it. In Luke 18:9-14 Jesus told a parable to “some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else.” He told of a Pharisee who thanked God he wasn’t like other people (particularly a tax collector he saw enter the temple) but was one who fasted twice a week and gave a tenth of all he received. But Jesus said “I tell you that this man, [the tax collector who pleaded for God to have mercy on him] rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

      I don’t believe we set out to exalt ourselves when we compare ourselves to others. But certainly we don’t play the comparison game with the aim of feeling inadequate as a result. I mean our subtle aim while comparing ourselves to others is to feel good afterwards.
You and I compare ourselves to others out of our insecurities. It could also be because of our competitive or perfectionist nature – we have these desire to be right, perfect, or just better than another. But comparison rarely leads to humility. It either leaves us sulking about ourselves or leaves us full of pride and, discontented. These end results are not good for us if we want to fully enjoy the abundant life Christ has given us. We’ll always put ourselves through the stress of constantly running our measuring stick over others in front of us, through our own eyes and judgement. 

If you often beat yourself up and feel bad when another person is doing better than you, you are playing the comparison game and setting yourself up. And all in all, it is not good for you!  Here are five ways to stop comparing yourself to others and find peace and contentment in being who God has made you to be/is making you to be.

1. Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

 Psalm 18:30 tells us God’s ways are “perfect” and Psalm 139 tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Therefore you are God’s unique creation. As you surrender your heart and will to Him, He can mold you and transform you into exactly what He wants you to be. So when you begin to feel inadequate and feel the temptation to compare, quietly whisper a prayer of thanks to God for making you the way you are. You’re His masterpiece, not to be compared with anyone else.

2. Realize we all have different strengths and weaknesses and be humble.

  The truth is there will always be someone smarter, richer, and better looking, so get used to it. Though we are privileged to be better persons or better at something than the other person, but the fact still remains that no matter how hard you and I try, someone will still be better than we are. So when we start feeling the need to compare, we must ‘put our minds under’ and recognize this as an opportunity to practice humility. However this shouldn't stop you from developing yourself to become better. This, too, can come through a simple prayer: Thank You, Heavenly Father, for what you’re doing in me. I recognize that in my weakness, You are strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Help me rely on You and Your strength, rather than seek out someone who appears weaker than me to make myself feel stronger. 

3. Choose compliments over comparison. 

When you notice a colleague who is able to manage his or her life better than you can at the moment, don’t start thinking of the many reasons he/she is probably able to do that (she has a good job, she’s rich, she has a family who cares for her, etc). Instead, compliment her on it. And asking....“Heyy, how do you do it” in a bid to get better too won't do you any harm.

It’s a two way thing, you put a wide smile on someone’s face and also get to learn one or two things from them.

Genuinely complimenting others outwardly keeps us from complaining inwardly and helps us cultivate contentment. 

4. Rely on God’s opinion rather than the opinion of others. 

Our own insecurity often causes us to compare ourselves with others, looking for a way to feel superior. But what if you and I relied on God’s opinion of us before we had a chance to listen to others’ or even our own opinions. I always tell myself “God’s opinion first and always”. God’s description of me is the ultimate version! 

For instance; If someone is praising a woman who hasn’t done half of what you’ve done, quietly thank God that He sees your heart and actions and He knows the real story. If someone is bragging about her own abilities,  and you feel the pang to start comparing her talents with yours, quietly remind yourself contentedly about God’s evaluation of your life Instead. His opinion over you is most sure. Sometimes when our minds wants to go in the wrong directions, we have to constantly tell ourselves what God wants us to think in order to keep us from going haywire. We should choose to think about ourselves the way God wants us to.....you and I are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are in Christ and He sees us as perfect in Him! 


5. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude: Thank God every time for everything you have! Having a grateful disposition helps us to see more on the positive side of life. It helps us to continuously discover and recognize those good things we should be grateful for. It also protects us from feelings of entitlement, resentment, envy and comparison towards others, which in the long run creates lasting happiness in us. We can surely say Comparison deprives us of joy while Gratitude brings us joy. We all want joy, don't we?

Finally, It should continuously ring in our minds that we have God’s measuring stick, not our own or that of others to live by. 

Please pray with me; Lord help me to find security in You and Your view of me, not in sizing myself up against others and trying to come ahead. Give me a humble heart. Help me to focus on Your purpose for my life and please You. Amen!

I can't exhaust this topic. Kindly comment below how you deal with the need to compare yourselves with others.